Conway’s Close Quarters Concerns

Conway’s Close Quarters Concerns

By Jamie McIntyre Saturday, March 27th, 2010 4:06 pm
Posted in On War

I’ve always liked Gen. Jim Conway, the lantern-jawed, gravely-voiced Marine Corps Commandant who looks like he came right out of central casting.  (Anyone notice the passing resemblance to the grizzled Marine commander in Avatar, or is that just me?).  Conway’s always been a no-nonsense straight-shooter, who clearly wants what’s best for his Marines, and who also doesn’t shy from a fight.  When things got too calm in Iraq, he began to lobby to send his Marines to the toughest part of Afghanistan.

So I’m trying to get into his head to understand this whole “fear of bunking with gays” thing.   Conway — in an exclusive interview with my parent website, Military​.com — said,  “I would not ask our Marines to live with someone who is homosexual if we can possibly avoid it… and to me that means we have to build BEQs [bachelor enlisted quarters] and have single rooms.”

Marine Corps Commandant James Conway in interview with military​.com — Photo: Cpl. Erin Kirk-Cuomo, USMC


Okay– like many of you I have friends, coworkers, and acquaintances who are gay.  I have friends who I think are gay, friends I know are gay, and friends who I have no idea if they are gay.

So I began to imagine, what if I had to share a room with one of my most openly gay acquaintances.  How would that complicate the usual roommate privacy issues?

Obviously gays and straights get along all the time in the workplace, and yes even in combat situations.   When the solid waste hits the ventilation system, it’s courage and performance under pressure, not sexual preference that counts.

Okay so let’s talk about the real problem here: the idea that my gay roommate, might be attracted to me, and enjoy the sight of me dressing and undressing or hanging around in my Calvin Klein boxer briefs.  Or even less.

If I was worried about that, I might be forced to take unusual measures to ensure my privacy, similar to what I might have to do, if for instance for some inexplicable reason I had to bunk with a female roommate.

But honestly, all this strikes me as nonsense.  It would be like banning gays from men’s rooms, because they might look over at the next urinal.   Gays in the military, like gays in society, have plenty of opportunities to see naked men.  Maybe they enjoy it, or maybe it’s like living next to a nude beach, where after a very short while (I would imagine) the titillation factor fades.  I don’t know.  But what private sexual thoughts are going through someone else’s brain is not really a problem to me.

Could I share tight quarters with a gay guy?  I’m sure I could.  Would it be uncomfortable?  I doubt it.   What if my roomie was attracted to me?   Any unwelcome sexual advances would be a clear violation of UCMJ, not to mention common sense, so I can’t see this would be a major problem.

The fact is gays have been serving quietly and honorable under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” for nearly two decades.   They are not going to suddenly start hitting on their combat buddies, because the law mandating discrimination may be easing or ending.

The Marine Corps is one of the world’s great fighting forces, and its ethos calls for marines to be just as well as tough.    They can handle treating every human being with dignity by judging fellow Marines on their actions, not they way their brains are wired.


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Tom March 28th, 2010 at 6:00 pm

well I would like to ask this question. Why do gays get extra rights based on a choice. Do they not recieve enough rights for being a man or a women or black or white.
I think for a population thats so small we are giving it way to much attention.
And as far as the military is concerned you dont have an opinion unless you’ve served.

Joel March 28th, 2010 at 7:14 pm

Recently an Army General from the Pacific Command got into difficulty with his comments to Stars & Stripes where he was encouraging disapproval of the repeal of the “Dont Ask Don’t Tell” policy. Is the Marine Commander’s comments different because they talk about implementing a policy, as opposed to saying “we should or should not have this”?

FormerDirtDart March 28th, 2010 at 9:32 pm

What extra rights are you referring too? All that is being asked for is equal treatment.
All we are hearing today are the same cowardly statements of doom heard against the integration of the armed forces. Aside from the US, the only modern western allied military forces that restrict gays from serving are Greece and Turkey.

Tom March 28th, 2010 at 11:30 pm

They are treated equal just by being a man or woman. That’s where their rights lie. Its extra rights because if some beats up a man its assault. However, if someone beats up a gay man its hate crime. It’s still the same crime, but with different punishment.
Now here we are saying.….this group wants to serve in military as something other than a man or woman. That in itself is asking for extra rights. Are they not already serving.….well of course they are. So their choice is asking for extra rights, because they want to serve differently. And if it’s not different then why bring it up.
The things I am saying are mostly argumentative, but there are some real concerns. I don’t feel like the Military is the place for this battle. If you don’t like it, don’t join. It’s a volunteer program. And if you’re not in the military or haven’t served it none of your business, gay or not.

William Adkins March 29th, 2010 at 4:16 am

we should not have to service in close quarters with a Homosexual. You are asking us to put our values on the back burner because of a so called social justice. You cant use the Marine Corps as a social engineering stage.

primetime March 29th, 2010 at 1:43 pm

Yes, homosexuals have served honorably for all our Nation’s history…that is not the point, but it is used as a stalking horse to plead for ‘honesty’ or some such other “good”. The real point here is not about allowing openly homosexual (yes, for the record I despise the word gay being hijacked to signify sexual orientation) men and women to serve. It is the same kind of ‘social engineering’ that was tried in the Carter administration by Clifton Alexander, then SEC ARMY. I served in the Army in those days and was appalled by Alexander’s actions. Why is it that only the concerns of “gay” men and women are of importance now? Am I afraid that I might be hit upon if I was barracking with one? No, I am not. What WOULD bother me however, is that someone else has more right to their person than I would…and no matter how sweetly it is phrased, that is what it is.
One man’s opinion.

Echo3Whiskey March 29th, 2010 at 11:03 pm

When I was in the Marine Corps, I shared a room with another Marine that I knew was gay. It was like sharing a room with my sister. When other gay Marines would congregate in our room we (my roommate and I) would joke about him “having the girls over.” It was no big deal. There was one instance of an unwanted advance toward our other roommate (LCPL and below were 3 to a room), and it was handled by the other gays in the group just like a group of guys would handle one of their number hitting on a female that obviously wasn’t interested.

The point is, if everyone knows what’s going on, then it’s pretty much a non-issue. Women serve alongside men now with very few problems, and most of us remember or know someone who was convinced that allowing women to serve was going to “destroy” the United States Military. It’s still here, and will remain long after this issue and many others have passed.

GI Joe March 30th, 2010 at 6:01 am

HokeySmoke! I’ve hiked, slept, worked with and socialized with gays. Oh and even showered with them. NOBODY GAVE A DAMN…

omgmoments March 31st, 2010 at 2:18 am

My issue is would a gay Marine who fell in love with another gay Marine be willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for their lover or maybe order their partner take the bullet. Would emotions get in the way at the critical moment? Cloud their judgment, cause bad decision making, not be able to accept the loss of their partner and continue the mission. And then there are issues of senior/junior partners and favoritism problems. Tough enough with co-ed units so adding gays to the mix adds more to the combat stress.

bill May 20th, 2010 at 6:00 pm

Homophobs should really get a life. What does a marine have to be afraid of?

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